CommonPrejudice

A little humour ... very little

How about a bad (non-partisan) joke?

A headline you would never have seen during the Clinton administration:

Bush Anxious to Learn More of Deep Throat

No RV on OBL

I think I smell a conspiracy.

Although the U.S. government officially shut down its Remote Viewing Unit in 1995, the unit was actively used by the CIA and other military intelligence agencies, to assist in sensitive intelligence matters for 23 years prior to its closure. Furthermore, there is evidence that some of these original psychic spies from secret units named “Sun Streak,” “Grill Frame,” and “Star Gate” are still being asked to use their paranormal skills as consultants to the military. If the U.S. government is calling upon its psychic operatives for this type of intelligence, why haven’t they yet found Osama Bin Laden?

Yes, Why haven't they found Bin Laden? What are they hiding?

I bet the psychic spies were working on Bin Laden, but Rumsfeld ordered them to "remote view" Iraq.

We need Targ on this right away.

What is remote viewing, you ask, or, more importantly, can we use it to make war?

Sadly, N... mmmm, Sadly, I don't think so.

Remote viewing  is a novel perceptual discipline for gaining information not available to the ordinary physical senses. Used extensively by so-called "psychic spies" during the Cold War for classified military projects, it has a long history both as an intelligence gathering tool and as the subject of research and applications in the civilian world. Remote viewing has now taken a long step into the public domain with the formation of a professional association to propose standards, test performance, and promote peaceful use and development of this unique human mental capacity.

Is this a communist plot?
No supper.

Welcome to Remote Viewing Instructional Services, Inc. We are a company dedicated to the responsible promotion and commercialization of the novel psi_based skill known as remote viewing, or RV.

Would I need to be able to herd ducks with a stick?
Yes.

The first day, Friday, June 15, about noon-thirty, the Master of Ceremonies, [of theThe 2001 Remote Viewing (RV) Conference] Lieut. Col. Kent D. Johnson, USAF, a retired fighter pilot, opened the conference. His job was to keep three days of about 22 right-brained speakers on track while managing about 300 attendees. Kind of like herding ducks with a stick. But he did it...

The whole thing kinda sounds like you've got a little TV in your head or something? Is that it?
No.

...Pettingell then explained Remote Viewing criteria, RV types and how controlled Remote Viewing works. She said that RV is accomplished when the viewer gleans little packets of information and that it’s not like ‘TV in the brain.

Do any of its sinister aims involve cross-pollination?
Yes.

The goals of the conference were to ... Foster communication, expand friendships, and facilitate intellectual cross-pollination among those wishing to help expand the boundaries of human consciousness.

But this all can't be about the peaceful use of RV. Sometimes war is necessary.
Don't worry. When you view remotely you can see that a few deaths here and there is nothing that should make you queasy, especially when you consider how the family factor complicates things.

... to say that the American public is so squeamish that it is unwilling to accept casualties in all military engagements is wrong-headed and ignores many complicating factors, such as the role of the media, mission objectives, the threat to US vital interests, and a phenomenon I call the “Family Factor,” Kent D Johnson.

Finally, do I have to have an intense interest in the subject or can I become involved just to make fun of them?
Happily, yes, you can just be "curious," if you'd like.

Whether you are merely curious about remote viewing, or instead have developed an intense interest in it, you have come to the right place. This website has information on everything from the basic facts on remote viewing's origins to how you can become a remote viewer by taking one of our highly-regarded courses in Controlled Remote Viewing (CRV)...

I probably should be careful. Maybe they're viewing me now ... remotely.

What Year is This?

In Niger:

The government of Niger has cancelled at the last minute a special ceremony during which at least 7,000 slaves were to be granted their freedom.

A spokesman for the government's human rights commission, which had helped to organise the event, said this was because slavery did not exist...

At least 43,000 people across Niger are thought to be in slavery.

An Incredible Story

A real must-read.

They're not the brightest ...

If you're like me and are running out ways to describe the Bush clan, I bring to you the definitive list of "they're not the brightest...."

(a couple of notes: a couple were literal but I think they still work, and it was too much work to supply the links, so if you want to know where they came from you'll just have to google them, sorry)

• they're not the brightest little demonic chappies
• they're not the brightest bulbs in your pack
• they're not the brightest sparks
• they’re not the brightest fish in the forest
• they're not the brightest fuses in the breaker box
• they're not the brightest beasts in the village
• they're not the brightest people on God's earth (token religious reference)
• they’re not the brightest bulbs in the closet
• they’re not the brightest crayons in the box
• they're not the brightest bulbs in the sockets
• they're not the brightest light in the lamp
• they're not the brightest lights in the sky
• they're not the brightest creatures in creation
• they're not the brightest of animals
• they're not the brightest cymbals
• they're not the brightest bulbs on the string
• they're not the brightest flames in the fire.
• they're not the brightest candles on the cake
• they're not the brightest light in the attic
• they’re not the brightest Silmarils in the gift box
• they’re not the brightest of our feathered friends are they?(I like this one)
• they're not the brightest bulbs on the strand of Christmas lights.
• they're not the brightest candle in corporate America
• they're not the brightest of bulbs in the marquee.
• they’re not the brightest light house in the harbors
• they're not the brightest burning bushes (somewhat appropriate)
• they're not the brightest stars in the sky.
• they're not the brightest aliens in the universe,
• they're not the brightest blasters in the armoury
• they’re not the brightest shining stars in space.
• they're not the brightest pots in the kitchen
• they're not the brightest villains in the universe
• they're not the brightest pennies in the fountain
• they're not the brightest cookies in the jar
• they're not the brightest watt for watt
• they're not the brightest lights on Broadway
• they're not the brightest cookie out there
• they’re not the brightest stars in the galaxy
• they're not the brightest blinkies and they won't light the way (ha ha)
• they're not the brightest bricks in the pile
• they're not the brightest sparks around in Cas (I don't know what that means)
• they're not the brightest crayons in the toolbox (crayons in a toolbox?)
• they're not the brightest lackeys, they still manage to slow down the Gullwings in their hunts for spheres
• they're not the brightest electric bass string available (ok, getting carried away)
• they're not the brightest breed of dog
• they're not the brightest critters
• they're not the brightest pennies in the pile
• they're not the brightest buggers
• they’re not the brightest bulbs in the candelabra
• they're not the brightest of species
• they're not the brightest, these cultists of yours
• they're not the brightest apples in the barrel
• they're not the brightest bulbs on the case of beer (double ha ha)
• they're not the brightest tools in the shed
• they're not the brightest ducks in the world.

Of course, they do have four more years left so it's unlikely this will last.
Next I suppose will be "They are the dumbest ..."

Right Quote Wrong Decade

If I were American I'd vote for him in a heartbeat. Franken for Senate

Minnesota, get your Franken 2006 bumper stickers ready... Stay tuned for more.

It seems that the eighties have finally arrived, so to speak.

People are going to stop thinking about themselves and start thinking about me, Al Franken. That's right. I believe we're entering the Al Franken decade. Oh, for me, Al Franken, the eighties will be pretty much the same as the seventies. But for you, when you see a news report you'll be thinking "I wonder what Al Franken thinks about this?" "I wonder how this inflation thing is hurting Al Franken?" And you women will be thinking "What can I wear that will please Al Franken?" or "What can I not wear?" A lot of you are probally thinking "Why Al Franken?" Well, because I thought of it, and I'm on TV.

Update: Too bad, not going to happen, at least not yet.

"Not running for the Senate in 2006," he told reporters and his Air America Radio audience. "Minnesotans are very serious about their politics and it would be silly. I don't live there."

..."I have been looking at the 2008 Senate seat, people know that," he said. "If I go in 2008, you're going to see me moving back there."

Gay Communists!

I'm guessing these guys won't be visiting the White House any time soon.

Gay Wedding For Philippine Communist Rebels

Two communist rebel fighters in the Philippines have tied the knot in a ceremony at a jungle base.

The pair are members of the New People's Army, rebels who have been fighting for independence in rural areas since the late 1960s.

The NPA added same-sex relationships and marriage to its independence manifesto policy in 1998. But, the Philippine government which has been waging war against the communists does not recognize gay relationships and in much of the country homosexuality remains a taboo.

On the other hand you know the Philippine military is always welcome at the Bush compound in Texas.

“This proves they (NPA) have no god and their morality is very much in question, ” Air Force spokesperson Lieutenant Colonel Restituto Padilla said.

A Whole New Kind of Shooter

While I'm not presently in a climate conducive to the flu and colds, many are so I present this cautionary tale of a dedicated drunk. Got a sore throat the night there's a big party to go to? Not to fret:

...Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry on May 21, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas, told the Houston Chronicle.

"We're not talking about little bottles here," Turner said. "These were at least 1.5-liter bottles."

Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry, Turner told the newspaper.

But, damnit, be careful out there (or why the police detective was there)

A Texas woman has been indicted for criminally negligent homicide for causing her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, a police detective said on Wednesday.

Homer in the Peg

I just can't let this opportunity to plug my old hometown pass.

Seeking cheap Canadian prescription drugs, Homer Simpson crossed the border into Manitoba Sunday night.

The affable cartoon character was welcomed to Winnipeg -- a city known for its booming cross-border Internet pharmacy industry -- with a sign that read "We were born here, what's your excuse?"...

Then again, I guess this really wouldn't be plugging.

Rampant Ignorance

We've got an earlier front-runner for the most tasteless headline of the year. Would it surprise anyone that it comes from Ann Coulter?

LIBERALS LOVE AMERICA LIKE O.J. LOVED NICOLE

The rest of the article is so not worth going through. I'll leave it to someone who has the patience to deal with this type of rampant ignorance.

Wait, I have to say one thing. She actually has the temerity to believe that the United States should receive credit for foreign aid due to their 'peacekeeping' in Iraq. Yeah, I bet those Iraqis are pretty damn tired of all that 'peace.'